Category Archives: Just Plain Funny

The Morning Costco Crowd

Costco, being our family grocery store, is a weekly trip that usually happens on Saturday morning or a weekday evening.

Our gymnast’s summer training schedule offered a perfect opportunity to hit Costco on a weekday morning before it fills up with families stocking up on bulk items and business people grabbing office supplies.

HA!  I just thought it would be a quiet stroll around the store with only a handful of people here and there.

We arrived around 9:43 am but found the doors to still be closed and the parking lot almost empty.  I did not realize that Costco didn’t open until 10 am.  No biggie.  Renee (16) and I decided to hang around, play a little Candy Crush, and wait until the doors opened.

At 5 minutes till, we decided to walk to the front and wait until the store opened.   As we walked I noticed that the parking lot had quite a few more cars than before my little game of Candy Crush.  {I believe I had been bemoaning the evil of chocolate in games.}

It would appear that our walk to the doors was the signal for the races to begin.  Every minute had more people driving into the parking lot and congregating around the entrance.

This crowd was no ordinary crowd.  They were all retirees.  Think retirees are harmless?  Try getting between them and the front door to the store they are looking to enter.

With every tick of the second hand, the crowd grew and pressed forward.  Their hands gripped their buggies, and with Costco cards at the ready, the chitter chatter died down.

When we could hear activity on the inside of the giant rolling door, they began to push forward harder.  Many of them were just a fraction of an inch from the heels of the person standing in front them.  The buggies were lined up like the Roman legions ready for battle.

Those who were driving their scooters were particular interesting.  They would rev to the best of their ability and drive forward parting people whether they wanted to be parted or not!

As the door started to slowly rise, several old ladies began to bend at the knees and waist to dash in before the door was all the way open.  It did not even clear the chest of the Costco worker before they all began pouring inside.

By this time Renee and I were standing on the edge of the pillars to save our toes and elbows.  The sea of white hair was all around us and jockeying for position.

It was at this time a particular gentleman smiled up at me and said, “I think it is safe to come down.”  I smiled back and asked, “Are you sure the crowd has thinned enough?”  He just laughed and pushed his buggie inside.

Once in the store everyone seemed to slow down to the normal pace of retirees enjoying a morning out.  The smiles returned and the chatter was back and lively. Gone were the tight-lipped faces filled with concentration.  No more were people looking to run down someone who was trying to cut them off from entering the 15 foot wide door.

While I found the whole experience to be quite entertaining, my sixteen year old declared that she didn’t realize that old people could be so aggressive.

I think I will plan another morning trip to Costco just to enjoy the show!

All for God’s glory,

~Rhen

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Fishing With The Littles aka: Many Opportunities to Perfect Your Cast

My Dad told me that I was only 18 months old when I caught my first fish.

For a long time I found that to be both funny and plausible.  Now that I have children of my own, I look at the idea of “catching” a fish as a toddler with a great deal of skepticism and even a little bit of empathy for my Dad.  I know what he went through to help me “catch” that fish!

During our recent spring camping trip, Mark, Granny, and I all gave our Littles many opportunities to go fishing, and they took us up on every one of them.

Susannah (5) fishing

Preparations for such fishing adventures are fully Mark’s responsibility and a source of great entertainment for me as I watch from my oh-so-comfortable camping chair.

First, Mark unloads his 150 5-7 fishing rods from the trailer.  Next, out come the poles for each of the children with the exception of Israel (15 mo).  For some strange reason every single one of them gets tangled no matter how hard he tries to prevent it.  After a good half hour of untangling and preparing his poles, he turns his attention to the mass of children that have surrounded him and watched with great intensity as he wrestled and coaxed the lines and lures apart all while controlling his frustration, somewhat.  He then sets to work on their poles.

Over the next half hour or so the kids will attempt to “help” their dad by bringing one of his many, many tackle boxes, or by bringing him one of his umpteen fishing lures.  The man has quite the collection!

A few of things that came out of Mark’s mouth many times each and had me giggling during this whole process:

  • Stop touching the hooks!
  • I don’t need all of my tackle boxes in my lap.
  • I will fix your pole next.
  • You have to wait your turn.
  • I just fixed that!
  • You already have a bobber on your line.
  • Don’t push that button!
  • You are going to poke me in the eye with that pole if you keep shoving it at me.
  • Don’t hook your sister!
  • Don’t hook the dog!
  • No sword fighting with the poles!
  • Please, just go sit down with your pole until I am ready.

Now, apparently, when you go fishing with Granny we must take turns petting the worm that we are using for bait.  Then we follow these steps until the kids are tired or Granny’s arm is worn out from casting:

  1. Pet worm.
  2. Have Granny cast line out.
  3. One child immediately reels it in.
  4. Pet worm.
  5. Have Granny cast line out.
  6. A different child immediately reels it in.
  7. Pet worm.
  8. Have Granny cast line out.
  9. A third child leaves the line in the water for a total of 30 seconds before reeling it in.
  10. Said child brags about being able to “just leave the bait in the water like a big girl does”.

Susannah (5) and Layla (3) petting the worm as Granny holds the pole

When it is time to go fishing with Daddy, we must remember the proper fishing form and how to best set the hook!

First, we must watch our line and bobber carefully all while being ready to pounce when necessary.

Layla (3) and Daddy fishing

Once your bobber goes down, or if you feel a good tug on your line, set the hook!

Layla (3) and Daddy showing the proper “setting the hook” form

When you have finally battled your monster catch up onto the shore, show it off!

Susannah (5) showing off her monster catch.

It can be quite an adventure and a little tiring when we take the Littles fishing, but it is well worth all of the time and preparation for the half hour they actually fish.  Some of my favorite memories of my childhood are from the time my dad and I spent fishing together, and I know that Mark and I are building memories for our own children.   Here’s to many more opportunities to build great memories with our family.

All for God’s glory,

~Rhen

For Goodness Sake, Its Toothpaste!

Seriously.  It is toothpaste, not a painting medium.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love toothpaste.  I am all for the whole bright, white teeth, fresh breath, healthy gums, and lack of plaque and tartar thing, but there is a dark side.

That dark side is my children’s ability to get toothpaste in the oddest places.  You see, I am one of those clean bathroom people.  Every week I wipe down every surface in my bathroom, including the walls.  Why is it there are times I have to climb to wipe off toothpaste?  There is only one person in this house who is taller than I am, Mr. Muscles.

Is this some kind of challenge the kids have going on?  What are the categories?  Highest up?  Most creative?  Best Hidden?  Easiest to step on?  Most interesting pattern?  I didn’t think there was that much toothpaste in the tube!

The one that gets me the most, right after stepping in it with bare feet, is when I go in to brush my teeth and there are globs of toothpaste staring at me from in the sink.  I don’t buy cheap toothpaste.  I spend a little more to get the really good stuff, so when I see it in the sink it makes me a little……….frustrated.  We have even changed the tooth brushing rule.  No more toothpaste then wet the toothbrush.  They have to wet the toothbrush first, then they are to add the toothpaste.  I got tired of them blasting the toothpaste into oblivion when they turned the water on at turbo pressure.  Ugh.

Please tell me that I am not the only one with overly creative children.  Let me hear a “Preach it, sister!” from someone out there.

All for God’s glory,

~Rhen

Supermom? Nope, Wrong Address!

I  have experienced a case of mistaken identity many times.  You know, that is when someone mistakes me for Supermom, or Superwoman, or someone really impressive like that.

My natural reaction is a confused look and the reply, “Me?  No way!  It sure would make errand running a lot more interesting though!”.

It would seem that the more children you have the more likely people are  to misidentify you.

You see, if I was Supermom I would get everything right the first time.  My house would be perfectly clean and show-ready at all times and so much more.

I am sure that Supermom would not consider egg sandwiches and fruit to be a complete dinner.  She would have a dinner that properly covered all of the food groups to provide optimal nutrition for her completely perfect family!

I am sure that Supermom would never leave a dry and ready to be put away load of laundry in the dryer overnight because she was too tired to fold them before bed.

Supermom would never let any of her children leave the house with a dirty face and not realize it until they got into the store.

Supermom would never let her fans get nasty and rain down dust on everyone.

Supermom would not eat two pieces of Hub’s made from scratch Chocolate Cookie Cheesecake in one day.  And those pieces would not be a little large.

Supermom’s children’s rooms would be perfectly organized and clean, and there would be no dirty clothes hiding in places that requires the sniff test to find.

Supermom would not shamelessly ask people to like her Yes, They Are All Mine FB page.  *wink*

Supermom’s van would always be clean and toy-free.   *sigh*

Supermom would not stay up way too late reading blogs, twittering, and facebooking, and then, have to drag herself out of bed the next morning.

I would keep going, but I don’t want you thinking too badly of me!  🙂

I have to confess that far too often those cases of mistaken identity will pop up and influence the way I see myself.  There are times I will expect perfection from myself.  Sometimes, I will get upset with myself for not doing all that Supermom would be able to do.  Periodically, I will set my day according the Supermom standards, fail miserably, and then have to have a good talking to with myself.

Do you ever find yourself combating the whole mistaken Supermom identity thing?

Does it creep into your daily life?

Let me tell you, that cape is not mine nor, do I want it.

I will continue to try to better myself, become more organized, be more on top of things, and, one day, maybe even be a step ahead at times.

But, it seems that Mr. Muscles and our crew like me just the way I am.  Craziness and all!

Thank goodness, because I really enjoyed both of pieces of Mr. Muscles’ cheesecake yesterday.  🙂

In God’s Hands,

~Rhen

Wordless Wednesday

I just had to take this for a dear friend who is a cop.  For you Deputy W!!

Join up at 5 Minutes for Mom,  Wordless Wednesday HQ.

~Rhen

Power grocery shopping. Who knew?

    I have very recently started what I refer to as power grocery shopping.  That is the grocery shopping that involves planning, stealth, patience, pen, paper, flyers, coupons and most importantly- the absolute will to save money.  Who knew deal hunting could be so addicting?!   Dear Gayle inspired me to take up the challenge of power grocery shopping.

     I love to save money.  I clip and print coupons when I can find them.  Honestly, printing is the easiest.  Most of what we use is natural or organic, and finding coupons for those items usually happens online. 

     I already buy on sale and have even started planning my menu based on sale items.  That has saved a pretty penny.       Now I have implemented the might of power grocery shopping.  My main targets are Ingles and Kroger.   Sometimes Walgreens or CVS enter the fray when the savings are too great to resist. 

     My MO is easy.  Wednesdays are our library days.  I take all the sales papers I have gotten in the mail, my list of stuff we are low on and my pen and notebook to the library with us.  On the way there I will pick up an Ingles flyer as they do not mail them out. 

     Next, I commandeer a whole table by the kids’ computers to spread everything out.  This lets me pour over all of the flyers to find what items we need that they have on sale.  Then I make my lists.  One for Ingles and one for Kroger.  I divide my grocery list between them depending on what is on sale.  I make any adjustments to my weekly menu, check for coupons that can be used and prepare the troops for attack. 

     Has all of this worked?  I can answer with a resounding YES!

     In the two weeks (two grocery shopping trips) I have been doing this I have saved over $65.00 and brought home a significant amount more of groceries.  More healthy snacks, more items to send Mr. Muscles to work with, more choices for lunch and even a treat or two.   

     Sometimes I will choose to pick up something at Walgreens or CVS, instead of the grocery store, if the deal is great.  I pass by those stores on almost a daily basis so it is not out of the way or using up gas. 

     Finding better deals, saving more money and getting the most for the money has become a challenge I cannot resist!  The benefit of this is more money in the bank, more food in the kitchen and a great time of deal hunting with the kids.  Got to start them off right!    Ya know, train them to find the best deal. 

     When we storm the grocery stores no deal will escape!!

     Do you hear the call of the deal?

God bless,

~Rhen

The Treasure Pocket

     I have a treasure pocket. 

    It is often filled with “gifts” from the children.  Thing like pretty rocks, a flower, or anything else that might catch their eye.   They come running up to me with their new found treasure and wanting a safe place to put it.  That would be my pocket. 

     The top of my dresser is filled with these treasures.  Periodically I will go through and clean it all up.  

      There are things that do not pass the Mom Inspection.  Sorry, but I draw the line at storing some things in my pocket.  Nothing alive, nothing that was alive at one time, nothing that can rot, nothing that is liquid filled, nothing that can poke or cut me, and the like.

     What do they do with these items?  Put them in their own pockets of course.

     Here comes the big difference between myself and the rest of my tribe.  I clean out my pockets.  Small thing to do.  Huge benefits!

     Because of their insane need to keep everything they find, and their inability to clean out their pockets, there is no telling what I will find in either my washer or dryer. 

     My top 5 items I hate finding (in no particular order):

          1.  poo

          2.  shredded kleenex

          3.  something that was alive and moved on its own at one time

          4.  lures

          5.  candy

     A few other things I find on any given day:

          rocks

          leaves

          paper

          wire nuts (thanks hun! insert eye roll here)

          money- mine now!

          crayons

          hair clips and/ or bands

          jewelry

          markers, pens, sharpie (thanks for that one too sweetie!)

          a fork

          fishing utensils

          a kid’s sheriff badge

          string

          sticks

          snack wrappers

           puzzle pieces

           pieces of wire

           and beads

           to name a few.

     Sometimes, when I am moving clothes from the washer to the dryer, I will see a dark lump in the washing machine.  I don’t like that.  There is always that guessing game of What Is It? that you go through.  Then, you have to make the decision of whether or not to grab it, or go find something in the kitchen to use.  I have thankful for a pair of tongs on more than one occasion!

     So, how about you?  Do you have this daily, or weekly, joy?  What is the most interesting thing you have found?  Distgusting?  Share!

God bless,

~Rhen

God gave us Bill Cosby for a reason.

 

Heavenly Father, thank you for Bill Cosby.  Amen.

~Rhen

PS- I, personally, love cold pizza for breakfast.  🙂

Thought For Day

    “Having children is inherited.  If your parents don’t have any, you won’t either.”

                                                 ~Dr. Kent Hovind

I shall call this one “Determination”!

Notice the yellow flower at the end.

For more WW pop over to 5 Min for MomOrdinary and Awesome and 7 Clown Circus.