Trying to Kick PBES Bootie

I suffer from a great affliction called Perfection Before Event Syndrome.  If you suffer from the same affliction, you already know what I am talking about, are shaking your head in agreement, and are probably making a few mental notes of what you need to accomplish.

If you do not know what I am talking about, be thankful.  I hope to be like you someday.  *wink*

How does Perfection Before Even Syndrome work?  PBES sets me up to fail, because I make lists, put expectations on myself, and demand of myself the ultimate goal I cannot possibly achieve:  the goal of perfection.

What brings on PBES?  Some of my best examples would be:  guests coming over for a dinner party, hosting family at a holiday, a birthday party, a wedding shower, arrival of a new baby *ahem*, and other such equally important events.

Some of the symptoms include:  the need to make sure every piece of dirty laundry is cleaned and put away, to have your kitchen perfectly spotless (maybe even all of the drawers organized- sicko), all carpeting vacuumed, all floors swept and mopped, bathrooms spotless, all shelves and furniture dusted, windows cleaned, closets organized,  kids rooms spotless, master bedroom looking like it just popped out of a magazine, just basically your whole house cleaned, organized and in a state of magazine perfect.

Why do we expect to accomplish so much so quickly?

For me, the impending arrival of our newest one sent me into PBES overload.  I even wanted to have the garage completely gone through and organized, my closet re-organized, our homeschool room in a state of perfection, and ton of outside work completed.

I was adding all of that to my list of things I really need to get done for his arrival.  Crazy, isn’t it?  They are great goals to have, but they are not reasonable ones, nor do they have anything to do with a new baby.  We have made great headway into achieving those goals, but they should not be timed by Little Man’s upcoming birthday.

I have fought back against my PBES, and taken my to-do list down to this:

→wash, fold and organize Little Man’s clothing – I am almost done with this!

purchase new, manly-looking  cloth diapers

→wash and organize diapers – waiting for them to get here, but I still need more.

get a new nursing bra and nursing tank -though I do need another tank.

purchase a car seat

→try to get as much restful sleep as possible before he gets here -working on this

→drink my pineapple juice daily -yup, yup

→make sure cradle is clean and ready to go

→Pick up the last remaining items on my need/ want list (items like mittens, bouncer seat, diaper pail for his diapers, socks, receiving blankets for burp cloths, and other little boy items just because he is a BOY!  LOL)

If I am able to get a few extra things done, great.  If not, I am okay with that.  At least, I am working very hard to be okay with that.  *wink*

Do you suffer from PBES?  🙂  I can’t be the only one!  Right?

Always in God’s mighty hands,

~Rhen

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13 responses to “Trying to Kick PBES Bootie

  1. Rhen- YES I do & my husband- only I think he’s worse. Actually – we are both like this about different things- so what is important to me- isn’t as much to him & the other way around. We drive each other crazy. But fortunately we both understand & try to help each other through this as much as possible. I really feel bad for the kids growing up in a house like this with parents like us 🙂 We are passing it on to them with our expectations of them when it comes to chores. We are trying to learn to let go & sometimes it works. 🙂

  2. I’m going away for a week to see my best friend, and I am going through the same thing. I really wanted the house nice for my family before I left, but I’ve had to realize it’s not going to happen. It’s decent, and it will have to be left just decent. You must be so excited for another boy!

  3. LOVE this post! I was laughing so hard when I read what PBES was! I suffer from the same thing! Is there a cure? 😉 SO excited for your sweet little boy to arrive!

  4. OMGosh yes I do!! I plan events with my kids then when it doesnt go EXACTLY how I had it in my mind I get all upset. I start cleaning a WEEK before thanksgiving knowing fully well the whole kitchen will be a wreck an hour after the meal is over. When I was pregnant I folded/refolded babies clothes, organized the bags & changing table. On birthdays its the same thing. I just thought it was just me LOL. I am trying to get better about it. I didnt spend a week cleaning for christmas and had several family members over and didnt spend the whole day running around trying to clean up any little messes made. Just enjoyed the company.

  5. Hello, My name is Judy and I too have Perfection Before Event Syndrome. (smile)

    Thanks for putting a name to it! I become a little (ok alot) grouch before events because I want everything to be perfect that I am surprised my family allows me to have any sort of party. I am working on it. Since I have had the baby in December (8 weeks old today—where does the time go!) I have chilled out more (or atleast trying to). I have a new friend who likes to just show up. It has actually helped me to enjoy the company instead of the freak out before she comes.

    More me, before having a baby I always like to have ALL my walls and rugs washed. We moved 3 weeks before I had him. The rugs did get washed but not the walls. And you know…..the baby didn’t even mind ; )

  6. I suffer the same! I don’t usually make a written list as that seems to work against me mentally, but I do make a mental list; quite extensive actually.
    I will even make this mental list for perfection when I am just leaving the house and hubby is staying home with the kids.
    There is also this same mental list when I am going grocery shopping. I mean who wants to come home from the grocery store to a dirty floor or a toy out of place.
    Yup gotta fight getting over this PBES!!

  7. Pingback: I Heart……. | Yes, They Are All Mine

  8. Oh my! I didn’t know my malady had a name! Is there a support group?

  9. Yes. Yes. Yes. Baby number three on the way, officially four weeks to go, but everyone keeps saying, “oh my third baby came four weeks EARLY.” Mad rush this weekend even though my friends are saying “you are so organised, you’d be ready by now.” More keeps surfacing that simply MUST BE DONE TODAY. But PBES has never been diagnosed with a title before today. My best friend is a co-sufferer too. Thanks. And I hope the bunks arrive in the morning.

  10. I just came across your blog and I can SO relate to your PBES!! I have it pretty bad, myself. In fact, I’m in super PBES mode right now since we’re leaving for 5 days in California on Friday (unexpectedly, too – my husband’s grandfather passed away) AND we may have to move soon. AAGGHH!! Nice to know I’m not alone, anyway … 🙂

  11. We had six years between baby #8 and #9, in between I’d gotten rid of everything and completely forgotten all the little things a newborn does require (beyond mom and diapers:) It all came back to me and I now remember why I took six months off from everything but caring for my family after a new baby—they require a lot of attention (which I love to give) and energy (whether I want to give it or not:)
    HOpe all goes well with the arrival of the new one…so exciting.

    Keep up the God work.

  12. We had six years between baby #8 and #9, in between I’d gotten rid of everything and completely forgotten all the little things a newborn does require (beyond mom and diapers:) It all came back to me and I now remember why I took six months off from everything but caring for my family after a new baby—they require a lot of attention (which I love to give) and energy (whether I want to give it or not:)
    Glad all went well with the arrival of the new one…so exciting.

    Keep up the God work.

  13. Pingback: It Is NOT Procrastination! | Yes, They Are All Mine

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