Right after the first question of “Are they all yours?” comes the “Are you done yet?”.
We never intended to have a large family. It never even crossed my mind. If you would have told me 10 years ago I would eventually have 7 children I would have had a very hearty laugh and looked at you like you were crazy.
Now I am on the other side of that. Now I am considering the idea of not having any more. More than just considering. As far as I am concerned right now I am done. Unless God does a huge work on my heart I am done. Seven seems like a good number.
Today we are finishing up the monumental task of trading out each of the kids’ clothes for cold weather clothing in the appropriate sizes. I am taking the time to go through everything from size 2t to 12.
I started pulling out all of the little boy clothes. Then it hit me. My son will be 11 next month. Did you hear me? I said E-L-E-V-E-N! What?! It doesn’t seem so dramatic and shocking with the girls. There are 5 more after Ms. Serious who will be wearing the girl clothing. There are girl babies in the house. There are no boy babies. No little boys. My boy is becoming a young man.
As I pull out each piece of his old clothing I am remembering him wearing them. I remember how blonde and curly his hair was when he was little. I waited as long as I could to cut his hair. I still have those curls. I pull out the little suits and remember how proud he was of his dinosaur tie. He still loves dressing up and looking nice. I can still see him running around in his Blues Clues shirt and matching overalls.
Every time I put those little boy clothes in the donate bag I get a little lump in my throat.
He is not little anymore.
He is growing so fast he can almost look me in the eye.
I had saved those clothes just in case we had another boy. It would seem as though that is not what God had for us.
As I sort the clothing and take out the little boy items I am realizing just how hard it is to let go.
I feel like I am letting go of my little boy. The lump just keeps getting bigger.
I look over at him and he looks even older to me now.
I had even considered getting rid of the clothing Ms. Dimples (5 months) has outgrown. I am not ready for that.
I would have never thought it would be so hard to let go of clothing.
It feels like so much more than clothing right now.