Wordless Wednesday- Accessorize! June 4, 2008

For more WW visit 5 Min for Mom.

Pass the superglue please. May 28, 2008

My hubby man, Mr. Muscles, has done it again. 

He has lost his wedding ring.  *sigh*

Obviously, this is not his first time. 

A few months ago we were in the same predicament.  After hunting for weeks we finally bit the bullet and bought him another one.  A couple days later, we found his wedding ring.   THANK YOU GOD!!  I returned the other one.

Sadly, Mr. Muscles did not take away anything from that experience (sorry, honey) and the same thing happened again.  The same way.  Insert eyeroll here.  LOL

My suggestion.  Tattoo my name around his wedding ring finger.  Simple and unable to be lost.  That is, unless he cuts that finger off.  We pray that doesn’t happen. 

Yes, I am a tattoo person.   For anyone who will no longer be reading my blog because of that, have a very blessed life and remember to take joy in everything God brings to you.  For those of you who will stick it out with me, bless you! 

Anyway, I think my name around his finger would be a great idea.  If he finds his ring again it will cover the tattoo but, if he loses it again, viola! 

I could do the guy thing to mark my territory but I cannot pee standing up so that is not an option.  Just kidding!  I wouldn’t do that to him.  Unless he really, really deserved it.  LOL

Oh, where does the conversation go from here??!! 

This is me saying “later” and laughing my tush off. 

May God bless you,

~Rhen

Great truths. April 13, 2008

This is an email my Aunt S. sent. It was too funny not to share!

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptise cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when some one is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

In tribute to Brett April 9, 2008

Ye shall be missed and greatly remembered!!

And yes, I will wear my #4 jersey with great pride. 

~Rhen

Ya’ll, Momma Got Some New Drawers! April 8, 2008

Warning!  Estorgen alert!  Estrogen Alert!

I doubt there are any men reading this but if there are you might want to go read another post for a while.   Scroll down and check the invasion post or go to the polls page and let your voice be heard!!

I had two blowouts.  Count ‘em.  TWO blowouts. 

You know what I am talking about.  Everything is going along fine and then WHAM, something has just pierced your boob and is sending pain shooting through your whole chest.  Those wires are so wonderful for holding your boobs up where they are supposed to be but when you have a blowout, they can wretched things.

That left me needing two bras.  And a bandaid. 

Mr. Muscles was so sweet to take me bra shopping the other day.  We loaded up the tribe and headed over to Kohl’s.  When I buy new clothes, like bras and panties, I love to go to Kohl’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love to hit thrift stores and yard sales but I am not buying anyone’s used drawers!!!!  Ew. 

Back to the shopping.  It didn’t take too long to find two brand new bras that fit perfectly.  34D Maidenforms.  They are the cutest demis and even though they are solid white they have completely fun patterns on them. 

See?

 and

To top off the wonderful day of finding two bras, at 40% off mind you, I also bought 6 new pairs of panties.  Woo Hoo!  Why woo hoo?  Two reasons.  A woman just feels more like a woman when she is wearing cute panties and not homely, worn-out ones.  And two, they were also 40% off.  Don’t you just love it when what you need to buy is something you want to buy and it is on sale!!?? 

Yep, momma is happy and that means that everyone is happy! 

The Invasion has begun! April 4, 2008

     Here in N. GA spring is definitely in the air. 

     Some of the trees are in full bloom with the white, pink, purple or yellow flowers.  Others have green buds all over them and some even have lots of leaves!  I love the bright green of spring.

     The other night I heard the first Whippoorwill.  They use to scare the mess out of me when I was a child but now their song sounds so inviting.  It is such a relaxing time to sit on the porch and listen to them call out to each other.

     In the evenings the bugs are in chorus with the frogs that are croaking down by the creek.

     The spring flowers are in their full glory.  Our yard even has dandelions blooming.  Isn’t the emergence of spring just captivating?!?!

     The other day while the sun was out and bright, the breeze was warm and gentle and the sky was beautiful I opened up the house.  I flung open the doors and windows.  Fresh air filled my lungs and my house. 

     As I was enjoying the fresh air filling my house I heard a faint buzzing.  The buzzing got closer and closer.  I looked around to find out just who was buzzing at me.  That is when it happened.  The invasion had begun.  Flies.  Nasty, annoying, buzzing-around-your-head-and-trying-to-get-your food flies.  In no time there were a couple dozen of them all over the house.

     The kids and I went on a killing spree but for every one that we killed 3 more took its place.  I refused to close the house back up.  For goodness sakes, I just got to open it!   I was not giving in already. 

     That is when I remembered my trusty weapon.  The weapon that never fails me.  Fly strips.  I found some on clearance at Tractor Supply Company a few weeks ago.  I wanted to be ready!

     After I unwound and hung the strip I killed three flies to “stage” on the strip.  The others took the bait and in no time almost every single one of the invading horde was on the strip twitching and struggling.  Struggle all you want to little beasts but you are firmly attached and awaiting your doom!

*Insert evil laugh here*

     This was only one battle of a long war but I have many more strips and at least 5 of our kids really enjoy hunting the flies down.  

I will prevail! 

Homeschool Spoof April 3, 2008

This is a spoof article I was emailed but found it to be too funny not to pass on.

______________________________________________________

California parents arrested — Caught Home-schooling their children without a teaching credential

Written by Robert W. Armijo

Story written: 11 March 2008

California’s home-schooled headed for public schools?

Sacramento, California - A three-judge panel from the 2nd District Court of Appeals made it illegal on February 28 for any parent to home school their child, unless they have a teaching or tutor credential. Upon hearing the ruling, school districts officials began demanding that police take immediate action. So yesterday, throughout the state, judges secretly began swearing out and signing arrest warrants for any parent who was suspected of home-schooling their children without a teaching credential.

Setting up a special task force virtually overnight, SWAT teams and truant officers armed with arrest warrants and automatic weapons began rounding up wayward parents, and against their will placing their child in protective custody and enrolling them in public schools throughout the state.

Originally thought to be a logistical nightmare, distinguishing home-schooled children from that of the public school system, officials quickly learned they could gather up a list of suspects from last year’s contestants, finalists and winners of the National Spelling Bee Contest, unusually high SAT scores and any kid who passed a random drug screen and/or pregnancy test.

“Also, we followed home any polite, courteous or well adjusted child,” said Dug Martinez, SWAT Commander. “Oh, and any kid we caught actually doing their homework at the library.”

In the early morning predawn darkness, SWAT teams and truant officers began their statewide sweep, crashing down the front doors in quiet peaceful suburban neighborhoods, but mostly in rural areas.

“After the California Superior Court medical marijuana ruling, the three-judge panel of the 2ND District Court of Appeals had to do something to try to restore the proper checks and balances to the political system that has been inadvertently eroded by that ruling,” said a political scientist. “So they did what anyone would do in their situation, they pointed the finger at a minority group to draw away public attention from themselves.”

“Also, they must have thought the ruling against home-schooling would bring in badly needed federal education dollars to the public schools for the upcoming recession, securing the liberal vote for the elected incumbency from the teachers’ union,” said a legal analyst from the Cassandra Institute Foresight School of Law.

“Overall, we netted a pretty good raid,” said Officer Martinez. “We arrested the parents. Put the kids in protective custody and enrolled them in public school. We confiscated a whole bunch of high quality, up to date learning materials, too.”

Listed among the home-schooling educational material seized by police: copies of “Plato’s Republic; The Prince; The Magna Carta; The Federalist Papers; The Declaration of Independence; The Constitution and The Bill of Rights.”

“You know until today’s raid, I never even bothered reading this stuff myself. Let alone read it to my kids,” said Officer Martinez. “I just found out we’ve alienated these good people out of at least three of their inalienable rights. Now, that ain’t right.”

The home-schooling learning materials will be held in the evidence locker to be used at trial, unless a plea bargain is reached, then they will be properly disposed with, according to Officer Martinez.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Just because I think it is funny March 26, 2008

This guy is too funny!! March 20, 2008

PS Ya’ll- My poll will be closing soon so if you have not yet voted go to the top of the page and click polls.  Let your voice be heard!  When this one closes I will putting a new one up.  I have several ideas for polls but am only going to do one at a time.

Have a blessed week!

~Rhen

Oh, the things I hear. March 17, 2008

After bathing Ms. Independent (3) she came out to show her older sister Ms. Serious (10) just how clean she was. 

Did she say look at how clean I am or I smell great or my hair is squeaky clean?  No! 

I hear “I am so clean.  You should smell my butt.  It smells good!”    Excuse me?

Now Ms. Serious wrinkles up her nose and declines but Ms. Lovebug (5) pipes up, “I will!”  “Yep, your butt smells great.”    I know she didn’t!    I am blaming this one on daddy.

We (Ms. Lovebug, Ms. Independent and I) did have a little talk about how to tell if someone is clean in more appropriate ways.   Like with your eyeballs. 

Mr. Muscles and I did get a good giggle over the whole thing.  Ahh, the joys of littles.  LOL